(The RD visits the first hill on the double marathon course)
inspired by the legendary Barkley Marathons
(which is in no way responsible for any of this)
“Bringing Pointless Suffering to the Excluded Masses Since Sometime Soon”
Next race tentatively scheduled for May 3, 2014. Registration opens January 1.
Important Notice: All race distances are rounded to the nearest marathon. (Jeff Hall Rule).
how is it: sign up for the puddy-tat (1X), or siamese (2X) option.
12 hour time limit for the p-t, 18 for the siamese. No, it’s not fair. (It’s Ran-gela’s fault).
(do not assume that the siamese is or is not simply two laps of the puddy-tat).
where? somewhere within 26.2 miles of California’s “toxic hellhole” (google it).
when? mother’s eve.
why? no one knows.
no aid, provide and pack your own.
re-supply (drop bags) at the end of each marathon.
there’s water all over. we generally don’t treat flowing water out there in the spring, but if you choose not to, don’t blame us if your results are different than ours.
we will give you directions and/or a map for the first X number of miles.
there you will find directions for the next section. et cetera.
(don’t forget to train specifically for the terrain you will encounter!)
could be snow in a few places.
might even get up into triple digits (don’t worry: fahrenheit, not centigrade!)
lions and rattlers and bears. oh my.
(we won’t make you go anywhere where poison oak is unavoidable, but as with everything else, you are responsible for yourself and whatever you do or don’t stumble into)
don’t whine. nobody cares.
The Puddy-Tat (1X):
stupid-hard, but do-able.
no qualifications necessary*
bring your grandma.
starts at 9 AM Saturday.
New for 2014: the Ran-gela Rule: 15 hours allowed to finish the PT!
The Siamese (2X):
starts at 6 AM Saturday. must finish by midnight, Sunday is a day of rest.
two singles, conjoined (also a popular breed of cat. clever!)
(no, it isn’t the puddy-tat twice, that would be too easy,
we send you places we wouldn’t dare send those folks)
there’s a good chance you won’t finish.
your friends will tell you they are proud of you anyway,
it’s a “moral victory”. Yeah. Right.
if you DO finish: we will give you an EXACT duplicate of the award given to Barkley Marathon Finishers!
The 4-Legged Beast (aka The Quads, 4X):
(NOTE: THE QUAD IS NOT BEING OFFERED IN 2014- COME OUT THIS YEAR FOR THE “EASY” DISTANCES & COME BACK IN 2015 FOR SOME REAL SUFFERING)
same start as the Siamese.
much, much easier than Barkley.
still way too hard for you.
*qualifications: none for the Single, but if you can’t do a road marathon in under six hours you’d better bring a box of flashlight batteries. Siamese: must have competed an ultra marathon, preferably a 50 miler in the past year.
from time to time we put stuff on the meow marathons’ fb page. it’s generally a silly waste of your time, but “like” us if you want to encourage that sort of thing to continue.
1. intentionally trying to find out in advance where the race will be held will result in a lifetime disqualification. let’s keep the playing field as level as possible. it’s the only level thing out here.
2. taking yourself too seriously, or failing to appreciate the literary magnificence inherent in the snide, facetious tone of Me-Ow! communications, will result in merciless mockery.
3. no pacers, wheels, motors, dogs (cats are OK if leash-trained), or littering.
unlike Barkley, it’s OK to use capitals sometimes and GPS is OK. a lot of good it’ll do you. (if you don’t put OK in caps, it’s just ok, like the sound a sick seagull makes).
4. more rules will be added if people do stuff that disturbs my fragile emotional balance.
100% Discount? All Barkley finishers are invited to enter for free (any distance) so you can show everyone else how easy it really is. Fun Run finishers (same year) can enter the double or single for free. (You do need to contact me before the race though).
Need more info? click here for FAQ
Final Caveat- Essential Reading!
Me-Ow takes a light-hearted approach in our propaganda, but do NOT take this race lightly. For the vast majority of entrants it will probably be the hardest footrace you have ever participated in. By far. If you aren’t sure which distance to enter, choose the shorter one that you are considering. Plan carefully for your nutritional needs. In the double and quad be sure you have plenty of batteries, a back-up light and clothing for possibly freezing temperatures at night in the high country. The instructions will be as easy to follow as possible but if you lose focus you could end up wandering off in the wrong direction for several miles before realizing that you are not where you are supposed to be. Bring a compass and know how to use it, instructions will usually say things like “face SW and head downhill…”. If you decide to drop out, you may have to walk many miles back to the start or even to any place where you might hope to get lucky enough to get a ride back. Pacers are not allowed, but two people can sign up together and decide to stay together. If you ask a question in the comments and we don’t seem to take it seriously enough in our answer, email the RD (address elsewhere on this website and on the ultrasignup page) and I will give you the best, fullest, totally serious answer I can for anything you are really worried about or unsure of).
(See Contact page for email address)